Monday, August 04, 2008

Musings from a much needed break

I'm enjoying my last 1.5 days of vacation in my living room (or back yard or kitchen or bedroom or whathaveyou).

The key word there is "enjoying."

Because I did not enjoy in any way, shape or form, my first three or four days of vacation. The first two days were spent on ... work. Hmmm. Kinda messes with the whole concept of vacation ...

That set off a whole chain of events:
  1. I was off schedule for the eleventy billion items I had planned for my shop.
  2. I was seriously cranky and didn't particularly want to go anywhere after that (like the mall or to the movies).
  3. I avoided talking with anyone, because I didn't particularly want to infect them with my black mood (sorry, Mom, Kris, and gentle readers!).
  4. My sleep patterns were completely thrown off after literally working the first two days (except for a few hours sleep when I fell asleep at my keyboard). They're still off. I'm taking Benadryl tonight in hopes to retrain myself!
  5. My poor cats weren't feeling the love -- they're so sensitive to our moods! Resulting in their acting up. I have a few broken items and a shredded curtain to show for it.
  6. Watching WAY too much daytime TV because I didn't really feel like going anywhere/doingn anything. And I HATE daytime TV!
I couldn't have said these things out loud yesterday, so this is a good sign. Knowing myself is so crucially important to me! All I knew through yesterday morning was that I was angry and felt helpless, though I hate letting myself be a victim.

Today I woke up and thought, "what the heck???"

So no more victim. Working on the anger, but already much much better (evidenced by the two totally relaxed furballs who are smiling in their sleep as I type). So I didn't knit 100 scarves. So I didn't redo my back yard. So I didn't paint a room. So I didn't get my house clean (though I'm cleaning today/tomorrow). The world hasn't ended. Gas prices are still high. Chocolate still tastes good. And I did knit three lovely scarves (pix later), two wrist cuffs (same), and more to be follow!

Aren't you glad I stayed away from my blog? This post has a happy ending.


glass hole studios said...

yeah funny how whether its a friday or vacation, we wait and wait for it, then when it experience (maybe its just me) that sucking vacuum sound of expectation, expectation that this is going to be great-but reality creeps in and you wound up no further along than when it started. I empathize-love yourself and keep doing the best ya can! Hugs Kris

Leaves of Glass said...

thank heavens chocolate still tastes good! i'm so sorry your vacation didn't turn out as you'd hoped, but i'm glad you managed to salvage the last day or so. as long as the chocolate still works...phew!