Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Tiger, dear Tiger

My god child of the fuzzy variety, Tiger Lily, very very recently passed away (hugs to Kris and Rich!). Even though I don't spend nearly enough face time with Kris, Rich and the "kids," they're some of the most important people in my life. Family! These dear people, both the human and fuzzy/feathered variety, are my family.

I've been feeling a little quiet as I process my feelings. I wanted to write something about this, but didn't want to sound contrived or melodramatic. I think I'm ready, though.

I am not a dog person by any means. (I'm sure you're shocked to hear that, given my own two fuzzies of the feline variety.) But with Tiger, it was love at first sight. I've been looking for a photo I have of me and Tiger on our first meeting, when she was a little bitty puppy - instant love. (To Allie, my other god puppy, don't worry - you know that I love you beyond belief!)

Every loss brings to mind other losses, and maybe that's part of the grief process. We can't walk around shrouded by grief every single day - we'd lose our minds - it's just too much. But we can deal with grief in concentrated doses - even when it feels as though we can't. The last stage of grief is "acceptance," not "over it." I don't know if there is an "over it" when it comes to loss. But there does come a point, after dealing with it, that you are finally reconciled with that loss. Tiny little microcosms of grief rupture throughout life when you run into memories. I tend to think each loss is perhaps a little more poignant as you remember other cherished ones - human and animal. And each loss made exponentially more poignant also eventually does make us stronger. At least that's my theory.

This post isn't really about me. It's about Tiger, the sweetest dog on the planet, so full of love (although not without her flair for drama). I'm so sorry that she went through so much illness and pain, something I wouldn't wish on anyone, let alone someone I love. She was very much loved by her immediate and extended family. I'm also glad that's at peace and no longer in pain. I think there's a strong argument for animals possessing souls, and if that is true, I know that Tiger's soul is rejoicing right now.

Love and hugs to Tiger's family. And a big big hug and slobbery kiss to Tiger Lily herself.


Fringe said...

Oh Brenda! I'm so sad to read about your beloved Tiger. I feel your pain, I truly do. What you wrote about grief is very accurate and wise. I hope your pain is eased by the wonderful memories of Tiger Lily.

I lost my darling Maggie dog on my birthday five years ago. It still is very sad for me, but every once in a while I dream about her. It's very vivid. I'm sitting outside with her next to me. I'm just sitting and petting her. I can feel her fur. It's so completely realistic that I believe those dreams are Maggie visiting me. It's comforting. I hope you receive "visits" from Tiger too...

Much love,
D xo

. Phydeaux . Phydelle . said...

Thanks for your sweet note, Dennice. I'm so sorry about your Maggie! And on your birthday. I have similar dreams about all of my furry family members who's passed on - it's amazing how vivid our subconscious memories are, isn't it???


Kris and Rich said...

Thanks Bren, very lovely. Now Allie is healing from her 9 tooth extraction dental surgery.Oy. K

. Phydeaux . Phydelle . said...

My Allie Cat! :( Good grief. Give her hugs and kisses from Aunt Brenda! I miss you all so much!!!