2am blues

WHY, you ask (as I am), am I awake at 2am? Well, several reasons:

• Completely out of control allergies, NOT helped one molecule by Fiona's insistence on melding with my face, or at least being melded to some part of my body (right now it's my arm) at all times, while wafting clouds of cat fur and dander. Hence, allergies. I can't take sneezing much more. And I'm jacked up on allergy meds!
• Nearly useless right shoulder/elbow/arm. I was doing OK, then overdid it today with a "brutal clean" (as I call it) in my bedroom, resulting in two heftie bags of flotsam and jetsome heading out to the trash. Not good for the arm, though. Despite NSAIDS and even a muscle relaxant. Doesn't help that FIONA refuses to let go of that arm, then her feelings are hurt when I have to physically remove her due to the pain. And I feel bad. At least until she gloms on to me again.
• Massive laundry (see above).
• Very successful library trip, several great looking books to be read.
  
• Shopping trip to the monster mall, always wearing. Looking for the perfect work suit, no success AT ALL. But I did find a beautiful leather tote/laptop case and a buttery soft leather portfolio. At least my accessories will look the part.
• Kitchen cleaning.
• Patio sweeping (which was pretty funny given my arm) and yard watering.
  

The brutal clean was well worth it. Found my spare laptop a/c (yay!). Weeded out drawers that were filled with what had become rubbish (yay!). Realized I do TOO have plenty of clothes for work and non-work (yay!). Got the last of my sweaters sorted for storage (yay!). Found my black suit jacket (cleverly hiding under another jacket), so I may be OK after all (yay!). Magic hemmed several pairs of trousers, eliminating the need for needle and thread (yay!).

The downtime post shoulder/elbow saying ENUF ended up worth it -- may have successfully broken through a major roadblock with family research on maternal side, back in Texas when it was part of Mexico. Yay!

Yay!

Lambies and Chickens and Eggs Oh My!

I spent a great Father's Day with my . . . Dad! Isn't he a good lookin' guy? Here he is, showing off his new egg washing contraption, which not only washes the gazillions (OK, not that many) eggs he collects from his chickens every day, but it also weighs and sorts!

Why is that a big deal? Because it took HOURS every day to do this by hand not so long ago. And hand washing and weighing increases egg breakage.



Here you can see the eggs on their nifty conveyor belt post washing AND drying, being weighed.





And below, you can see the eggs coming down their respective chutes (jumbo, extra large, large, regular, small -- did you know eggs are classified by weight?) and Dad's egg carts all ready and waiting for more eggs.



Pretty cool, isn't it? Even better, these are free range, organic chickens, who keep the bug population on his organic kiwi farm down the natural way.




Along with a small flock of baby doll sheep (I could only find the one who would pose for pictures). The sheep had their first lambs this year, but I didn't see any!!! Here, at least, is one sheep lounging under the kiwi vines during the very hot weekend....


Dad has really worked hard this year on the farm. He tore down the old barn and built two new chicken facilities in addition to the new egg processing "plant" and walk in fridge that he built earlier this year. I'm completely and totally impressed -- he was architect, contractor and builder.



You can see less than 1/3 of the chicks below, who live in 1/2 of the big chicken complex. These little chicks are no longer that little! But they still "peep" vs. cluck. I have about a million pix of blurred feathered bodies -- they run in every direction, but just don't sit still. This one is the best of a poor lot...

Of course, I visited Mom right along with Dad, but didn't get a picture. She's doing better, but isn't 100%, and is still largely chair bound thanks to such severe neuropathy in her legs that she can't walk. Thank the stars for home health care, who've done a wonderful job working with her to rebuild strength and relearn to walk.


So, back at home. The girls were/are very happy to see me, and the feeling is definitely reciprocated. I don't know what's up with Fiona. She's spent most of tonight hissing at and attacking Molly -- not in play -- and this isn't the first time she's done this. I don't know if it's in reaction to my being gone. Or if it has something to do with the huge fur ball I found on the hall floor tonight (maybe someone's feeling punky after yakking that up). Or if Molly is so secretly evil that I'm clueless.

Is this the face of evil?

Nahhhhhh.

Shoulders don't get enough credit

My danged right shoulder is worse than ever today. To the point where my arm is weak and I'm losing my grip. I had to lay down when I got home today (before I fell down, that's how tired and achy I am), then had to prop my arm up on pillows, because it just dangled, but with a lot of pain. Better right now, largely because I'm about to pass out (just burning the last CD for an audiobook). My prescription NSAIDS help reduce the pain, but not as much as I'd like. My hands and fingers are so swollen and red (and painful) that it's been difficult to type today. Lots of typos are being corrected as I type now.

I'm HOPING a good night's sleep will work wonders. The sudden increase in temp really is affecting me (the high today was 91 or 92, which is HOT for my little town. It's 71 right now in my room, with window fan going full blast. This danged lupus hates weather changes, and I've always hated the heat.

Other than that, life is grand, I'm loved by two very sweet and fuzzy cats, and I can't complain about work.

Recipes to Share

I don't know exactly when I stopped cooking (and those who know me well will be shocked by that statement, since I LOVE to cook). I think it's because my kitchen's layout is not at all conducive to cooking. Stove is nowhere near a counter or sink, etc. Resulting in poor eating, resulting in poor health.

This a.m., I made my fave omelet, and I have my fave roasted chicken in the oven right now. Totally easy, very healthy, AND very yummy. I hope these turn out for you, should you try making them!

Brenda's Omelet/Frittata

• 2-4 eggs (depending on size)
• Fresh baby arugula (1-2 cups)
• 1/4 c low fat ricotta
• 1/4 c shredded parmesan
• 1-2 slices swiss cheese
• Grape tomatoes (5-10, depending on how many you'd like)
• Assorted sliced/chopped veggies: asparagus, baby squash, very thinly sliced red onion, rough chopped italian parsley -- doesn't really matter what, just that it's something you really like and that it doesn't require major cooking
• Fresh cracked pepper and sea salt (to taste)
• Assorted goodies: maybe chopped kalamata olives, or salty capers, or some fresh lemon zest, really good salsa or guacamole, etc.
• Extra virgin olive oil
  

Extra plus if all are organic and locally grown!

Heat up a small saucier with light coating of olive oil and sizzling.

Crack your eggs into a glass bowl or pyrex measuring cup, give them a good stir with fork or mini-whisk, add ricotta and 1/2 of the parmesan, pepper and salt, give them a good whisk until thick and creamy.

Pour into saucier, should immediately start to carmelize edges. Keep edges loosened and encourage egg mixture to flow under. Turn down heat to med low.

Add any veggies that must cook (asparagus, baby squash), letting them sink in and settle a bit. Cover with loose fitting lid or plate to give the veggies a good steam. After a minute or two, toss the grape tomatoes, herbs, etc. on, and scatter onions over top. Cover with remaining cheese. Turn on broiler. Plate/lid, let steam for a few minutes.

Add the two slices swiss, another grate of pepper (a grate of nutmeg would be killer too), then stick under broiler for a couple of minutes until cheese is bubbly.

Loosen omelet/frittata, slide out onto a bed of arugula, garnish with salsa or guaca or lemon zest or whatever it is that you think might taste really great.

ENJOY!!! (Really great for dinner)


Brenda's Roasted Chicken

• One chicken
• Nice dark, fruity extra virgin olive oil
• Fennel seeds
• Dried tarragon
• Poultry seasoning
• Fresh cracked pepper
• Garlic powder
• Roasting veggies (if you want to use them as a "rack")
• Nonstick cooking spray

Set oven to 375 deg F.

Trim as much fat as you can from your chicken, then give it a really good wash and pat it dry well. Coat your baking pan or dish with non-stick cooking spray. IF you want to use veggies as a bed for your chicken now's the time to chop them up, and toss with olive oil, pepper, maybe some seasoned salt, etc. (I sometimes roast with baby red potatoes and rosemary) and make a nice even layer in the bottom of your baking dish.

DON'T FORGET TO WASH YOUR HANDS REALLY WELL WITH HOT WATER AND SOAP BETWEEN HANDLING YOUR CHICKEN AND TOUCHING ANYTHING ELSE.

Give your chicken a good rub with the olive oil, then rub in plenty of fennel seed and tarragon, seasoning generously with poultry seasoning, with a good coat of fresh cracked black pepper and a final dusting of garlic powder.

I don't usually stuff mine, but you could stuff with onion, lemon, bay, maybe some garlic cloves, etc.

Put it on the veggie bed or just in the baking dish, put on the center rack of the oven, and go do fun things like chores or read a good book or play in the garden or whatever tickles your fancy for 30-45 minutes. Check your chicken for doneness -- nothing's worse than "rare" poultry. The leg should move freely given a good jiggle. You can also do the old pierce the breast trick, make sure the juices run clear.

The smell in your house will be HEAVENLY, thanks to the fennel and tarragon.

_____________________________

If you have a fave recipe, feel free to share!

Tootsies

I started out the day with such shoulder pain that I actually to the MD, which is really a waste of invaluable weekend time (since it's the urgent care MD, and they always suck). Got so bad I had to use my left hand to move my arm. Decided to buck up, stop whining, and deal. Spent the rest of my day on the couch, too tired to move, and in a lot of pain. Then my feet were increasingly bad.

Yesterday, I wore my very cute Ellen Tracy black sling-backs to work. They were a little painful the last time that I wore them. Yesterday was a NIGHTMARE. My feet felt like bloody stumps. Red and a bit swollen. Not the smart thing to do when you have neuropathy AND diabetes. Dop.

Today, my feet are u-g-l-y. Reminds me of the patients I used to take care of with advanced diabetes. I got worried when I realized that the skin is mottled with fine red veins, with a particularly red patch on my red foot. I realized it looks a bit like stage I decubitis (the first step toward pressure/bed sores).

SO, warm epsom soaks, massage, soft socks (NOT tight), and trying to figure out how I can get away with birkenstocks and cross trainers at work this week.

Can't sleep, my feet hurt too much + my shoulder. Argh.....

I hope this is only a wake up call. I had my hemoglobin A1C and fasting glucose drawn this a.m. (I haven't done that in at least six months, and it's supposed to be every three months, I know, I know, I know).

I guess I always hear that voice in my head saying "it's all in your head, you're fine, stop your moping and lollygagging."

I'm kind of watching what may be the worst movie ever made, but has Liv Schreiber and Ben Affleck in it, to balance out Rose McGowan. "Phantoms," based on a Dean Koontz book. Poor Mr. Koontz, he must be unhappy about this one...

Thanks to Kris, I bought this tonight, "Minty the Wee Cat," from Etsy.com. He makes me smile. Can't wait to have him at work making me smile. Hope he makes you smile, too!

life decisions

Stayed at home today (good thing, mom's not up for visitors I hear), took it VERY easy, no heavy lifting, shoulder, fingers, other joints a whole lot better.

Also, after a night of nightmares about the job I was going to interview for tomorrow a.m., I woke up, realized I knew what to do, sent an email withdrawing myself from consideration, cancelled my hotel reservation, and felt about 200 lbs lighter all day long.

Then kicked back on the sofa, enjoying a great and clever vampire novel, and being even more entertained by the critters in our backyard menagerie.

Life is good, indeed.

so here are some of the joys of lupus

I've had increasing full body pain during the last few weeks, with a host of other maladies. I was losing the ability to walk well this week -- every step was agonizing (foot and leg pain) and my legs would become so weak and numb that I'd have to sit and stretch every block or so (since I have several blocks to walk between my office and any place else at work, this is a real problem).

Then my right shoulder, not wanting to feel left out, decided to act up again. Yesterday was pretty bad, culminating in my inability to raise my arm more than 5-10 degrees with acute pain. When I made my bed last night, it was with a lot of yelps, sharp breaths, and muttered curses. I also can't carry anything in my right hand -- my arm can't bear weight and my hand/fingers alternates between excruciating knife like pain vs. weakness and numbness. Typing right now is quite an experience. If I can hold my arm completely still while only moving my fingers, I'm OK, but you can't really do that and type. I have to stop every sentence or so to rub and stretch my arm. I have to use my left hand to raise or move my right arm.

SO, no major chores this weekend....

I'm rethinking my 4-hr car trip tomorrow. A day of ice packs and NSAIDs may be what I need to do things like brush my teeth and carry a purse. I also have an interview set up for a position that I find I'm not that interested in, but it's closer to my folks, on Monday. Rethinking that as well, knowing that pulling out may hurt future chances at that particular academic institution. In the end, my health is more important than a job interview.

Every now and then, after really beating myself up for ever having gotten as out of shape as I have, I am reminded of why I'm no longer a runner or hiker or the many other things I used to do. PAIN. And lots of it. I've been pretty danged healthy for someone with lupus and with peripheral neuropathy. And now with diabetes. And I'd like to keep it that way.

So, I'm kicked back in my living room, facing our beautiful back yard, looking at the birds, squirrels, trees, clear blue sky, lavender, lilies, bbq (hmmm, that sounds good), and watching Molly curled up in a sunbeam in front of the sliding glass door, glossy black fur alight with sun as she dreams of squirrel smorgasbord, and Fiona curled on the futon, one ear visible, chasing blue jays in her dreams.

I can't complain, even though it sounds as if I am. Life is too danged good.

Yay for Friday!

Visiting my folks on Sunday -- haven't seen them since they visited me (April?). It's time to celebrate my dad's and my bdays (belated, 5/30 and 5/31). And PAST time to spend some time with both. Mom lost her ability to walk earlier this month -- her osteoporosis and compression fractures finally blocked nerves to her right leg, which she can't move now. They're set up with home nursing and PT now. Dad's replaced steps with ramps, etc. I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing them. Hope everyone else has a great weekend, too.